


River Part 2

by writingformadderton



Series: River [2]
Category: Rocketman (2019)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of drinking, Panic, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, mention of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23593189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingformadderton/pseuds/writingformadderton
Summary: Richard gets a call from his best mate Brandon, who comes to London and wants to visit him. When Brandon realizes how messed up Richard feels at the moment he decides to stay with him for a while. Taron is struggling with himself but gives in and meets up with Jamie. They talk a bit about how Taron is feeling after meeting Rich, but he sticks to the lies he made up to protect himself.
Relationships: Taron Egerton/Richard Madden
Series: River [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603804
Kudos: 3





	River Part 2

It’s already dark outside when Richard leaves the therapy practice and he wraps his coat tighter around himself. A sharp, ice-cold wind blows in his face and he shivers while searching for his car keys. He opens the door and slides in with ease, staring onto the dark, icy street. Coming here was the right decision after what happened today.

He spent most of the time crying during the session, but Thomas assured him that its okay and needed for the process. It wrecked him all over again hearing Taron saying it’s his fault, talking about getting back together, and good times before it all fell apart. It kinda feels like it was all a dream and he would wake up from it again, but he knows it’s just the harsh reality.

Rich takes a few deep breaths when he feels the panic rising in his body again. His hands start shaking and get sweaty, while his heart is beating faster. He takes deep breaths to avoid sending himself into a panic again. “Don’t freak out again. It’s going to be okay. You’re gonna be okay again and he will be too. Eventually.” he tells himself and leans his head against the steering wheel. Come on. “Everything is fine.” he says seriously and his hands grip the steering wheel firmly, his knuckles beginning to turn a light white.

The tone of his phone rings loudly and makes him flinch in shock. Who was that? He pulls it out of his jacket with shaking hands to see who’s calling him. When he sees the name, he can’t hide a warm, small smile.

Taron walks around in his bedroom and tries to think of something that could calm his upset mind. Something that doesn’t contain pain or blood. Or breaking down in the bathroom alone and unloved on the cold, hard floor.

The clock on the wall is ticking and it seems to be so much louder than usual. Everywhere he turns, he is exposed to an unruly mess spanning his entire bedroom. The opened and overflowing suitcase, the clothes piled up on the floor, and his desk decorated in various papers and food wrappers. He fell back into his messy habits again now that he lives alone.

He looks down at his shaking hands and pulls down the sleeves of his hoodie, hiding the scars from himself. He feels like it could trigger him at the moment seeing them. T groans softly and sits down on the bed. He looks at his phone and bites his lower lip, thinking. Don’t. Do. That.

Richard takes the call and tries to control his voice. “Hey, Bran. How are you?”

“Hey Rich, I’m great. I’m coming to London for a week and I thought I could visit you then.” Brandon says happily.

“That sounds like a great idea. I could use the distraction.” Rich admits and rubs his face tiredly. It was good to hear his friend’s voice.

“Are you alright, mate?” Brandon asks worried and listens closely to his friend’s voice. Something was wrong. Something in his tone worries him, it was a tone he hadn’t heard in a while. And that wasn’t a good sign.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think so.” he says and leans back in the car seat, staring outside.

“You’re definitely not fine. The last time you sounded this wrecked was when… He… kicked you out.” Richard remains silent and the American inhales sharply. “Have you two seen each other?!” he asks shocked. Richard would have told him before, right?

“By accident yeah. Today at the grocery store and it-.” his voice cracks and he can feel the tears in his eyes again. He buries his face in his hand and tries to stop himself from crying. “Brandon, I don’t know what to do.” he chokes out sadly and leans his head against the seat, looking up to the ceiling of his car.

His voice is calming, but Rich can hear the worry in it. “Okay bub, calm down. I’ll be on the airport at 8am tomorrow. I can stay with you if you want me to.”

“My guestroom is free, you can stay there if you want.” Rich suggests and wipes away his tears. Get yourself together!

Brandon’s voice gets soft. “Of course, see you tomorrow. And Rich?”

“Yeah?” he asks sniffing.

Brandon takes a deep breath before talking again. “Don’t do anything stupid until I’m here.”

“I won’t.” Rich says and they exchange goodbyes. He knows exactly what his friend means by that.

When he stayed with Brandon back then, he enjoyed drowning his sorrows in alcohol. That wasn’t fun for him nor Brandon. But his mate understood his circumstances and slowly got him away from it, introducing him to the option of a therapist and getting professional help to cope with his feeling of betrayal and sadness. And both of them know he would do it again to help him.

Taron lies his phone aside and takes a deep breath. He was set to meet Jamie tomorrow and talk to him about what happened today. He really needed his friend now.  
He, however, had to make up a few details and slip in a few lies. He already told Jamie that it’s his fault but not exactly how or why. He wasn’t ready to tell the whole truth and so he lied, over and over again. Taron doesn’t feel good about it at all and all the lies are killing him inside. But he felt it was important to protect himself and Richard.

The next day, Richard is at the airport and waits for his mate and former roommate. They used to share a house back in LA, which was beneficial for Rich when he was filming in America. Brandon steps out the gate and smiles widely as soon as he sees him. But he can’t hide the worry in his face when he examines his mate. Richard is pale, looks tired and has dark circles underneath his eyes. His eyes are a bit swollen and he doesn’t look as self-confident as he did a few months ago, when Brandon moved back to Los Angeles.

Rich pulls him into a hug and holds him close. “Hey.” he mumbles weakly. He feels a weight lifting from his shoulders with only seeing him again. He knows he’s safe now and won’t get hurt.

Brandon holds him tight and leans his head against Richard’s. “Hey, mate.” he rubs over his back softly. They remain silent for a while and Brandon knows his mate needs the hug. “Let’s go, huh?”

Back home, Rich brings his suitcase into the guest room and let Brandon change into comfy clothes. They meet downstairs in the living room and sit down on the sofa. Brandon lies his arm around him and pulls him into a hug. “So, now we have time to talk about it.”

And so, Richard tells him about what happened yesterday. And even though he was feeling better after talking to his therapist and knowing his friend would visit him the previous evening, he feels the lump in his throat and the tears in his eyes brimming his eyes again. He stops talking, trying to calm down and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to spend his time crying and getting on his mate’s nerves.

Brandon notices and rubs his arm pulling him closer. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.” he assures him softly.

“It’s not that I don’t wanna talk about this. It’s just-.” he bites his lower lip and bites back his tears. “It just takes me back to all the hard times and especially what I went through after last Christmas. But I mean you know that.”

“Yeah I know. I still remember how wrecked you looked when you came to me.” Brandon says and carefully strokes his fingers through his hair. His mate turned up in front of his door sobbing violently and just fell into his arms. He didn’t realize what was going on at first, but gave his best friend time to calm down enough to understand what happened. Luckily, he had been in London at that time. Both Richard and Brandon know that things could have ended badly if he hadn’t been in town that day. “Listen, Rich. I won’t force you to tell me all that happened. You don’t have to, it’s your decision. But what I do know is that I’ll do my best to cheer you up again, okay?”

Richard sniffs and buries his face in Brandon’s chest. “Okay.” he mumbles and let the tears roll down his face. “I’m sorry.” he says and tries to hold back his sobs, but can’t find the strength to do so.

“Let it out, bub. It’s okay, I’m here.” he continues stroking through his hair and holds him close, trying to comfort him. “It’s not your fault okay? You tried your best and so did he. You just need some time to cope with everything.”

“Taron, calm down.” Jamie says and watches his friend pace around in the room while running his fingers through his hair.

“I can’t. Jamie, he was right in front of me yesterday. I bumped into him and I could smell his cologne, look into those damn blue eyes and it just hit me.” Taron groans frustrated and falls down on a chair.

“Thank you.” Jamie sighs. It drives him crazy when someone can’t stand still while talking to him.

“And then I saw the disappointment and sadness in his eyes because I’m still-.” Taron bites his lip and shakes his head. Careful with your words, no one else knows about it.

“Still what, Taron?” he asks and looks at him observantly.

“Still… A mess because of what I did to us.” Taron says slowly and tries to get away with it. He saw how much he hurt Richard with his actions and didn’t tell anybody else. When he broke up with Rich, he told Jamie it was because they got into an intense argument and he slapped him. The reason for this argument was still a secret to his friends.

“You mean the fight you got into?” he asks and grabs his glass of water.

“Yeah. I screwed up a lot between us because I wasn’t behaving very well.” Taron stares down at his hands.

“Listen, T. You both made your mistakes and you both need time before you’ll be able to talk again. But it’s gonna be okay sooner or later.”

No it won’t, he thinks. “Yeah.” he says. Jamie doesn’t understand that it is all his fault, that he did bad things that hurt Rich and himself. That he was a bloody mess and made Richard suffer through all of it. That he won’t change and let someone help because he saw how that ended with Richard. He wouldn’t destroy another life by loading his problems onto them.

Richard fell asleep in Brandon’s arms, exhausted from yesterday, and finally finds enough comfort to sleep peacefully. The American continues running his fingers through his hair, knowing it calms him down. Richard needed some proper sleep.

He looks down at him and sighs a bit feeling sorry for him. Richard tried everything to help Taron through his unstable mindset and prevent him from hurting himself or others. Constantly being pushed away by the love of your life is a pain like no other. But he also understands Taron struggles and not wanting to let someone stop him. He understood why Taron broke up when he realized he did them both no good, but he isn’t happy about the way he ended it. Slapping Richard and throwing him out of the house was bad enough, but never calling or asking if he was okay just was cruel. He really understands both sides, but it hurts seeing Richard that upset.

Brandon carefully shifts forward on the sofa and leans his head back. He feels his own exhaustion creeping up in him and closes his eyes. And so, they cuddle on the sofa, sleeping deeply and trapped in their own thoughts.

Jamie watches Taron in his seat, lost in his thoughts. He wonders why T never told him the reason for the fight he and Rich got into. Those two didn’t fight very often, so it must have been intense. But he also saw Richard afterwards and his Scottish pal was a mess. He didn’t sleep, he drank and he looked sad all the time. There must have been something more than “just” a fight, because those two once were inseparable.

But as often as he asked Taron, he got the same answer; Taron blamed himself, said he was behaving awfully and then broke up with Richard. He tried to talk to Richard about it, wanting to know what really happened. But Rich just looked at him with a tremendous pain in his eyes and said “Let’s not talk about that, please.” And so they didn’t. It seems like only Taron and Richard really knew what happened.

Brandon knows what happened but promised Richard to keep it to himself. And he did, never wanting to hurt or betray his friend or Taron.


End file.
